Unlikely Heroes

Not every fantasy hero can have a dragon to slay and a princess to lay.

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The Heroes and Zeroes - Sir Rott Alott

Once a man of wealth and power, Rott was also a jerk of great reknown and hence had a great deal of trouble getting what he wanted. He bribed bards, courtesans and soldiers to spread tales of his greatness but to no success. Perhaps the tales were over exageratted... or perhaps they just took the money and left, the truth will never be known.

What is known is that at some point when his funds were running low he decided to sell his soul in hopes of gaining all the things in unlife that he'd craved in life. He set out and found a merchant willing to do the deal with him.

Unfortunately for Rott his lack of virtue, lack of former greatness and lack of well... much worth while meant that instead of getting the vast army of undead minions, the great crumbling keep and the vampire bride of unmatchable beauty and power he had to settle for the "budget pack".

Thus Rott returned to a leased house with a wagonful of zombie peasants and Suckya as his bride. It wasn't until a week later when Suckya got drunk enough to consider sleeping with him that he discovered animated suits of armour don't have genitalia.

Ever since Rott has been plagued with questions: What will he do now? How can he achieve greatness as an undead overlord? Where can an animated suit of armour get a workable set of nads?

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